World War P
by MantisToboggan
Summary: An Oral History of the Equestrian Zombie War, as told by those who lived through it, if only just barely.


***Author's note:** I own neither World War Z nor My Little Pony and have used each with only the deepest love and respect for their respective creators. If anypony wishes to expand on this story with a spinoff work, I'm flattered and he/she has my blessing.

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><p>Five years ago there was a Solanum virus outbreak, the first in many, many years. It burned like wildfire all throughout Equestria, leaving nothing but misery and desolation in its wake. Now, as we pick up the pieces we must ask ourselves: Why? Why did it happen? For that matter, how did it happen? Only by answering these questions can we safeguard against another tragedy, and if there is a next time we might not be lucky enough to survive again.<p>

It is with that in mind that I spent the last year traveling across Equestria, listening to all who would bother to talk. These conversations have been recorded verbatim; any attempt to paraphrase the words of these people would be a grave injustice, both to them and to history.

Bolded text is my statements. Bolded and bracketed text has been inserted for clarification purposes.

**DEEP WITHIN THE EVERFREE FOREST**

**[Following an anonymous tip, I made my way deep into the forest in search of the hut of a mysterious hermit. After a string of wild goose chases based on similar tips, I must confess I was somewhat shocked when I found that the hut actually exists. Inside is a wide array of exotic artifacts, most of obviously non-Equestrian origin. Lying in the center of the hut is a bubbling cauldron filled with a glowing blue liquid. Next to it sits Zecora, a zebra shaman with entirely unreadable eyes.]**

What brings you here to my abode, to which there is no beaten road?

**I have been told that you are something of an expert on the Solanum viru-**

That statement there, it is no lie, but for some information, ponies should not pry.

**I was hoping you could tell me where the virus comes from.**

**[Zecora sighs] **I thought that you all knew this, still, ground zero was known as Ponyville.

**Before that, I mean. How did ponies begin to contract it in the first place?**

In nature it is very rare, not found in frog, nor bird, nor hare. 'Tis only in one animal as you'll learn: the lowly and forgotten worm.

**Worms? But ponies don't eat worms. And worms don't bite ponies.**

**[Zecora shrugs]**

**So what can be done about it? Is there a cure?**

No cure there is, nor ever shall be; all the living can do is flee.

**FILLYDELPHIA, EMERGENCY CLINIC  
><strong>

**[I sit in the waiting room of one of many makeshift hospitals as many doctors and nurses hurry past on urgent business. I wait patiently for the end of Sunshine's shift, which the receptionist told me was quite soon half an hour ago. Just as I get up to leave, an earth pony nurse with a graying mane approaches me with a tired smile]**

They told me you wanted to speak with me. Sorry to keep you waiting, sir.

**That's perfectly fine. Now, I understand that you were working in Ponyville [Sunshine's smile drops instantly] when the initial outbreak occurred.**

I don't know how on Equestria you found that out, but yes, yes I was. Now if you'll excuse me I have a lot of work to do.

**No, please, this will only take a moment of your time**

**[She sighs] **Fine. Well? What is it?

**Now about patient zero-**

Oh no. No, no, no, no, no, not this again. Listen, there was no reason to suspect that patient zero was anything but a simple case of food poisoning. Celestia only knows what went on in the kitchens of Sugar Cube Corner, that little pink psychopath put all kinds of garbage in their "food." I'd even heard rumors on good authority that she would put _pony_ _meat_ in those cupcakes. Now I don't know if I'd go so far as to believe _that_, but-

**You didn't find it strange when patient zero began biting people?**

Well…no. Look, patient zero was never known for behaving…normally, you understand? She was always rather…derpy. So much so that it became her nickname. Frankly, the moaning and groaning was preferable to her usual stream of nonsense. Before, it was all, "Purple jellyfish aromatherapy" this, or "Amazonian noodle spools" that. And she was always clumsy; it came as sort of a relief when she couldn't fly anymore thanks to the virus – not that we knew why, of course. We figured the biting was some sort of strange new way she had of communicating. At first it seemed to be a blessing in disguise. It finally gave the mayor a concrete reason to put Dinky-

**Dinky?**

Derpy's daughter.** [Her manner suddenly becomes somber]** A wonderful little foal, the whole town adored her. As I was saying, we were finally going to be able to put her in foster care, where she belonged. But…

**But what?**

Dinky didn't want to leave her mother. She ran away from her foster parents home and burst into the emergency room, racing to Derpy's side. Dinky tried to kiss her mother and…and…**[Sunshine weeps openly]**

**MOUNTAINTOP CAVE, NEAR PONYVILLE**

**[At the top of the Matterhoof, an imposing mountain on the outskirts of Ponyville, there is a cave of gargantuan proportions. It is obvious from the gouges and scorch marks covering the walls that once it served as home to a mighty dragon. Now, however, the cave is only home to two disheveled earth ponies, one orange, one pink. They turn in surprise when they hear me enter; I, in turn, am equally surprised to have actually found them: Applejack and Pinkie Pie, villainized throughout Equestria as the monsters that unleashed the Solanum virus upon ponykind.]**

Applejack: What're ya doin' here?

Pinkie: Ooh, ooh, a visitor! This calls for a party! A super, duper, marvelous magical mountaintop extravaganza!

Applejack: Shaddap, Pinkie Pie, he might be here ta lynch us fer all we know.

**Oh, heavens no, nothing like that**

Applejack: Alright, fine. Whaddaya want, sugarcube?

**Well, I was hoping you could shed light on how exactly the Solanum virus was released.**

Applejack: Ah figured it'd be somethin' like that. Ain't no way around it, it's our fault. Mah fault, really, but no one's willin' ta hear Pinkie Pie's side of the story.

Pinkie: Oh come on, Applejack, don't be such a mopey, morosey martyr-pants, it's not your fault.

Applejack: Yes it is! Ah was so stubborn ah decided ah could bake after goin' a week without sleepin.' Ah'm the one that got Derpy sick, ain't yer fault in the slightest, you was just there with me.

**Just what happened, exactly?**

Applejack: Ah was makin' muffins with Pinkie Pie here but ah was so tired ah put all sorts of nasty ingredients in 'em.

**Such as?**

Applejack: Tater chips, soda…uh…lemons, worms, that sorta thing. Only thing I ain't been able ta figure is how that got Derpy so danged sick.

Pinkie: Silly, it was those wily wittle wormies, they carried the virus like rats carry the Bubonic plague!

Applejack: The Bobo-what now?

**Yes, what?**

Pinkie: **[giggling]** The Bubonic plague, sillies, the disease that wiped out over a third of medieval Europe!

**Medieval what?**

Applejack: **[cracking an almost imperceptible smile for the first time]** Yer so random, Pinkie Pie.

**So what are you both doing up here?**

Applejack: We got run outta Ponyville, not even Twilight's connection to Celestia could help us. Got the same treatment anywhere else we tried ta stay at, too. Ain't got nowhere else ta go. I suppose we're lucky ta be alive. It's more'n ah deserve.

Pinkie: Hey! Don't you ever say that! You're a fantabulously faithful friend and a positively perfectly pleasant pony!

Applejack: Thanks, Pinkie Pie. An' thank you, sugarcube, it's been so long since ah talked ta anypony but Pinkie Pie, let alone anypony that wasn't as like ta spit on me as talk to me.

**You know, the threat is all but over, the zombies have been all but wiped out.**

Pinkie: Oh, duh, we know that! We saw it happen! It was just like in that Legend of Zelda game only not really because- **[Applejack buries her face in a hoof]**

**…Legend of Zelda? What's that?**

Applejack: Believe me, it ain't worth the trouble of askin.'

**Fine. But…don't you get it? They're gone. You can go back.**

Applejack: Nah, sugarcube. Ah appreciate it but ah'll be stayin' right here. Ain't nothin' gonna bring me down from this here mountain.

**[Shaking my head softly, I begin my hike back down the mountain]**

**CANTERLOT, THE ROYAL LIBRARY OF EQUESTRIA**

**[I look around at a room filled with more books than I ever knew existed. I can only imagine how much time the librarian must spend in here to keep it all so perfectly organized. As I ponder, Twilight Sparkle seats herself across from me, arriving right on time for our appointment.]**

So, what is it that you would like to talk about today?

**Well, I was hoping we could talk about the Solanum vi-**

**[Her expression darkens]** So much death. So much death that could have been _avoided_ if somepony had just _listened_ to me! But no! Princess Celestia was too busy amusing herself by telling foals that Santa Colt isn't real to pay attention to my reports! We needed to get Wonderbolt squadrons into Ponyville _immediately_ to stamp out the infection before it spread. But nooooo, that would have been bad for the royal family's PR. "Too authoritarian" she said, "Not enough public support," she said. I warned her…I warned her.

**So you knew what was going to happen?**

Well, not to the extent that the infection spread, but yes, yes I did. I mean, look at all these books. **[Gestures around her]** Do you really think that in all of history there were no outbreaks, or that none of those outbreaks had been recorded? Well there were and they had been. I read enough in my time to be aware of the Solanum virus, aware enough of it to know it when I saw the symptoms. I saw exactly what was happening to Derpy, and that's when I wrote my action plan to the princess. A lot of good that did us **[she pauses, then, sadly]** and her.

**Did no one in all of Equestria believe you?**

I think Zecora might have. But she's always been hard to read.

**Not even your friends?**

Do you think they'd be where they are now if they had? Would Rainbow Dash still be the poor shell of a pony she is today? Would Fluttershy still bury herself in other ponies' problems to forget her own sorrow? Would Rarity-**[Twilight's eyes tear up as she chokes on her words]**

Look, friendship is tragic. Why do you think I took this job? My books dull the pain and that's all that matters now.

**Can you tell me about your involvement in the Manehattan Project?**

No.

**But-**

We're done here.

**SAN FRANCISCOLT, EQUESTRIAN VETERANS' HOSPITAL**

**[I walk through the hospital, filled to capacity with ponies and misery. The friendly orderly leads me to room 15 and lets me inside. There, curled up in the fetal position and twitching wildly, is Rainbow Dash, once a promising young athlete. Her eyes dart around the room, never focusing on one thing, not even registering that two ponies had just entered the room. The orderly sighs softly and attaches an IV. Almost immediately, Rainbow Dash's shaking subsides and she smiles weakly at us.]**

Congrats, you've found the bed of the one and only Rainbow Dash. No autographs.

**Hello, Rainbow Dash. I'd like to ask you a few questions about Apploosa.**

**[Her eyes glaze over]** What's there to know? Mistakes were made. Ponies died.

**We all know the basics. Can you go into specifics?**

**[She sighs, sits up, and shakes her head]** You know how we ponies have survived all these years? It was numbers. Wolves attacking? Cluster together and kick like a madmare, they can't do anything. Griffons coming? Same deal. When ponies are close together, ponies are safe. That's what they told us anyway, all the wide-eyed young recruits they pulled to stop the disease. So what did the army do? They took us – all of us – and put us in that dusty little town on one end of Mane Street while the specialized unicorn divisions used magic to lure those freaks to the other. You ask me, all those generals were watching too many Colt Eastwood movies. They even scheduled the battle to take place at noon, the over-theatrical bastards. The idea was to stampede over the horde, letting our sheer numbers take care of the danger.

They were making calls from a playbook that was out of date the moment those monsters crawled out from whatever pit they came from. Stampedes rely on two things to work: Bodily damage and fear. Those sick freaks don't feel either. I bet that egghead Twilight knew that; knew the plan was doomed to failure. But nopony listened to her. I know I didn't.** [A pained look flashes across her face]**

That's when the Wonderbolts all died, you know. They put them all in the front lines, thought it would boost morale. Idiots. To ensure the operation's "success" they weren't even allowed to fly. Now you tell me how an aerial special forces team is supposed to function without flight. When they started dropping like parasprites, ponies ran for it. Now I can't say I blame them. Most nights I wish I was one of them. But being the bravest pony in Equestria means you can never run, no matter how horrible the situation. **[She laughs bitterly]** What a foal I was.

I never understood why they picked Rarity, of all ponies, when the draft came to Ponyville. Never will. She was uniquely unqualified to be a soldier. Maybe it was just another one of Celestia's little jokes. I don't know. When it began, she was right next to me, along with Big Mac Apple and all the other Ponyville recruits. To be honest, she was doing better than I expected until the stampede hit the lines of undead. It's uncanny, really, just how much they embodied everything Rarity hated. They were dirty, smelly, their clothes were in tatters, and what feeble minds they had could focus on one thing: taking. I think something broke inside her mind when she finally saw them up close. She froze up, and nothing would get her to budge. I stayed by her side, of course, what kind of friend would I be if I didn't? I tried to protect her until it was all over, but it was only a matter of time until she got bit.

I'll never forget her scream. It was the single most awful thing I've ever heard in my life, worse than the roar of an ursa minor, worse than Nightmare Moon's cackling. When she stopped, she had finally regained control of her body. "Rainbow," she whispered, "Don't let me become one of _them_." **[She trails off]** I didn't.

**[She collapses onto her bed and closes her eyes]**

**SAN FRANCISCOLT, EQUESTRIAN VETERANS' HOSPITAL**

**[Intrigued by something Rainbow Dash had said, I walk to the front desk and ask if a pony named Big Mac was admitted into the hospital. The receptionist frowns and asks if I'd like to see him. When I say yes, she sighs and has another orderly take me to his room. Inside is a huge red stallion with the saddest eyes I've ever seen.]**

**So, you're Big Mac Apple?**

Eeyup.

**Brother of Applejack Apple?**

Eeyup.

**From Ponyville.**

Eeyup.

**I've been told you were in the Battle of Apploosa, is that correct?**

Eeyup.

**Could you please tell me what happened there?**

Eeyup.

**[There is a long silence]**

**How long have you been in this hospital?**

Eeyup.

**Excuse me?**

Eeyup.

**[I sigh]**

**Thank you for your time.**

Eeyup.

**REFUGEE CAMP, NEAR CLOUDSDALE**

**[As I enter the camp, filled to the brim with vagabond ponies and a staggering array of animals, a small, ill-tempered rabbit hops up to me and, through gestures, communicates that he wants me to state my business. Bemused, I tell him I wish to speak with the organizer of the camp. After a moment he shrugs and hops away, signaling for me to follow. A short while later we stop before a small, yellow pegasus pony and, through more gestures, the rabbit communicates that I wish to speak.]**

Um…hi.

**Hello. Fluttershy, right? I think it's fantastic what you're doing here.**

Oh, uh…th-thank you.

**Do you mind if I ask a few questions about the virus?**

**[Fluttershy suddenly cowers]** Eeeee…

**[The bunny slaps me]**

Angel, no! Oh, um…I'm so sorry, he's j-just trying to protect me. We've been friends since before…um, before everything.

**So when did you set up this shelter?**

Um…it was after the infection spread through Ponyville. I…l-lived just outside of Ponyville, you see, so, um, I didn't know what happened until after the evacuation had already happened. I only got a hint when all my animal friends, they…they…**[tears well up in her eyes]**

**Wait, wait, I thought Solanum doesn't affect animals? I've never seen any zombie birds or squirrels or anything else.**

Well, um…not exactly. You see, um, only ponies become zombies, but everything can be infected. Other creatures just die instead of…of…eeeee…

**Okay, I see. And about the shelter?**

After I, um…After I buried all my animal f-friends, I came to Cloudsdale. Um, i-it was the s-safest place, you see. The z-zombies can't fly so, um, there wasn't as much risk there. But the ponies there were so, so…m-mean! They, um, they only sheltered ponies that could pay their way in, leaving all the poor ponies to d-die. So, um, I left. I set up this camp hoping t-to h-help ponies and animals in need. Um, I work very hard, um, if I don't, I…I remember…eeeee…

**Is there anything that isn't affected by the virus?**

**[She gazes wistfully towards the Everfree Forest in the distance]**T-trees aren't. I, um…I'd like to be a tree. I'd like for everypony to be a tree.

**CANTERLOT, ROYAL EQUESTRIAN CONCERT HALL**

**[After listening to a magnificent performance of Beethoofen's 6th symphony, I am led backstage to meet with a grey earth pony who I have been informed was present at Celestia's last dinner party. Octavia eyes me with impatience]**

Another reporter? Let's get this over with. You want to know all about Celestia's last day, is that it?

**Yes. Why exactly were you there? I was under the impression it was only for the nobility.**

**[She looks at me as if I'm stupid]** I was there to perform. After all, I am Equestria's finest musician; I perform at all major functions: the Grand Galloping Gala, the Summer Sun Celebration, the Winter Wrap Up Ball…you get the idea.

**Right. Well…what happened?**

Honestly? I have no idea. Nopony does. All I know is one moment all the aristocrats were spewing forth their usual insipid banter and the next there was chaos. About ten of them just appeared on top of Celestia. She never had a chance. Next was Prince Blueblood. **[She allows herself a small smile]** He soiled himself before being buried in a pile of rotting flesh. Can't say I was surprised. Can't say I was sad.

I must say, the Royal Guard was incredible. Many brave stallions laid down their lives for the guests, and if they hadn't secured an escape route as quickly as they did, well…I suppose I'd have had to trade my bass for a harp.

**So you have no idea why or how it happened?**

None whatsoever. Oh, I've heard rumors, mostly a bunch of nonsense about how Princess Luna arranged it as an assassination attempt so she could take the throne herself. But Luna is just as lucky to be alive as I am. I was there, there's no doubt in my mind Luna had nothing to do with it. Honestly, I don't think she even wants to be princess. She's been so miserable ever since that day. It seems to me she'd be happier fiddling around all day with that abacus of hers.

The only pony who might know anything at all is Twilight Sparkle, but I doubt she'd tell you anything. She never tells anypony anything. Always reading those books, as if she'll find a spell that can bring back the past.

**CANTERLOT, BACK ALLEY**

**[As I walk into the divey donut shop I spy a distinctive young dragon with purple scales and green spines gobbling down his problems and belligerently asking a man called "Pony Joe" for more. I take a seat beside him and offer to buy him a round. He reluctantly accepts, knowing that I expect something from him for it.]**

Yeah, yeah, what do you want?

**If I'm correct, you're Spike, Twilight Sparkle's pet dragon?**

A _PET_? Who gave you the idea that I was some lowly pet, like that damn owl of hers? What I _was_ was her _partner_. 'Course, she don't want nothin' to do with me anymore. Not after what happened.

**You're referring to the incident in which Princess Celestia was infected?**

What I'm _referring_ to is the incident in which I saved Twilight's sorry life. Not that she ever even seemed to realize that part of the story.

**That's what I was hoping to talk to you about, actually. There have been so many rumors flying around about how it happened; I'd like to put them to rest once and for all.**

Buy me another donut and you've got yourself a deal.

**Fine. Pony Joe! One more!**

I should start by telling you I'm a special dragon.

**Special? In what way?**

I was about to get to that if you'd have just let me. Honestly...You see, when I choose for it to happen or, in that case, when I'm stressed, my fire doesn't just burn stuff. It sends it somewhere else. I used to use it to send Twilight's reports to Princess Celestia, so it was always set on that "channel" by default. Now, because Twilight the bookworm was so adamant about saving all her precious books from the library – and that damn owl wasn't making it go any faster, always flying around, going "Who," this and "Who," that, never doing anything useful-

**Ahem**

Oh, right, where was I? Anyway, because she was taking so much time with her books she was left behind after Ponyville was evacuated. She was so caught up in her studying and organizing that she didn't even notice everyone had already left until those…things busted into the library. _Someone_ had to keep them away while Twilight gathered up the energy for a teleportation spell, and that worthless, freeloading bird wasn't volunteering. So I let out a breath of fire, which led-

**-right to Princess Celestia's dining hall.**

Hey, who's telling this story? Anyway, yeah, it led right to the stuffy dinner Celestia was holding for all her aristocrats. When Twilight heard what happened to the Princess, she realized how they got to her, and boom! I was out on my tail that same night. Since then I've been wandering around Equestria, hanging out in cheap pastry shops like this dump. Hey, Pony Joe, how 'bout serving me a little faster, you hoof-licking son of a griff-

**[Pony Joe, clearly offended, grabs Spike by the tail and throws him outside, knocking him unconscious. I pay my tab and leave quietly.]**

**CANTERLOT, THE ROYAL PALACE THRONE ROOM**

**[After lounging on a waiting list for the better part of a year I have been granted an audience with Princess Luna. I wade through a sea of Royal Guardsponies before finally reaching the massive throne. I bow, but as soon as I do so Luna rolls her eyes and motions for me to get up. I wait apprehensively for the alicorn to say the first words]**

Leave us. **[The Royal Guard obliges, leaving the throne room empty but for me and the princess]** What is it you would have of me?

**I would like an account of the Manehattan Project, your highness. Nopony involved is willing to talk.**

**[She smiles tightly]** Unsurprising. I directed them to do…awful things. Things that are better left unsaid. **[She sighs]** But I suppose my subjects do have the right to know what we've been doing. Do you know what I learned from my thousand-year stay on the moon? The moon is _hard_. I already knew it was made of rocks; after all, I made it, but I had never stopped to think about the implications of that until my imprisonment, when I spent each and every day lying on that unforgiving stone. The better part of those thousand years was spent thinking about how much I wanted to hurl it right on top of Celly's head. Phase one of the Manehattan Project was, essentially, a refocusing of that idea.

**But…but the moon is still there. You raise it every night.**

Incorrect. I raise the moon's shell every night.

**You hollowed out the _moon_?**

Exactly. And threw it at the infected. It required a truly incredible amount of magic. So I gathered together a collection of the most powerful magic wielders in Equestria, Twilight Sparkle chief among them. Unfortunately, the strain of such powerful magic proved too great for one unicorn, The Great and Powerful Trixie; she collapsed in the middle of the casting. May we always remember her heroism.

**Threw it at the infected? All of them? But…how?**

It didn't take a genius to notice that, above all other stimuli, the zombies responded to sound with an almost supernatural acuteness. With the help of a popular performer who styles himself DJ-P0N3, we put together the most powerful sound system in the history of Equestria in the desert, turned it on, and waited. They came. They came by the thousands, by the millions, even. And that's the day Equestria remembers as the Earthquake of Judgment. The quake, of course, was simply the effect of the moon slamming into the horde of undead and not, as is commonly believed, what saved us from the brink of destruction. Frankly, the idea that an earthquake would have any effect on the undead is ridiculous. Later we had several pegasus ponies fly over the pile, lighting the mountain of corpses on fire and reducing it to ashes.

**But…that doesn't sound so bad. Sure, a lot of ponies were hurt by the earthquake, but-**

-As I said earlier, the moon was only phase one. **[She grimaces]** Phase two was…is…less pleasant.

**Is? You mean it's not over?**

No. Not by a long shot. **[She pauses]** Do you know what's under the Royal Palace? Caverns. Miles upon miles of dank, dusty caverns. Throughout history they've been used as dungeons for Equestria's most dangerous criminals. Thankfully in recent years there hasn't been much need for that. Now they've found a different purpose.

I suppose you think the creatures that crashed Celly's dinner party were killed. Not so. It took some doing, but they and all their victims were immobilized by magic users and brought down to the caverns.

**All of them? Even-**

Yes. Even Celly. Phase two is finding a cure and, as I'm sure you've gathered, those…things…are our test subjects. Except Celly. I made certain we put Celly in a cryogenic chamber before the virus completely took hold of her. I won't lie to you. The tests aren't pretty. They involve dissection, reassembly, testing our as yet unsuccessful vaccines on small, unfortunate creatures…it's all rather gruesome. Doing such things every day…it wears a pony out. **[She sighs]** There's been a rash of suicides among our scientists. Truth be told, I can't blame them. **[Her eyes harden]** But we have to do this, for the sake of everypony in Equestria and everypony yet to come in future generations. **[She slumps]** And…for Celly. I can't run this kingdom all by myself. I'm not good at that kind of thing. Without Celly…I just don't know.

**[As I turn to leave I suddenly hear the words of Zecora in my head and shudder]**

_No cure there is, nor ever shall be; all the living can do is flee._


End file.
